Cat and Dog
by sarin68
Summary: Izaya and Shizuo have a common...problem. How will they fix it? Shizaya, yaoi, and smut ahead.
1. Chapter 1

"What the hell did you do to me?" Izaya screamed at his secretary as she tried to hold back a laugh. "How on earth is this funny?!"

Namie let out a chuckle and said, "Well I thought that it might help you out a bit" (another laugh) "but I guess I was wrong."

"What the fuck?" Izaya asked, stomping over to invade her space and look threatening. "I will get you back for this!"

"I didn't know it was going to do this!" Namie defended herself. "The bottle said it was supposed to help you release your inner animal. I thought it was an aphrodisiac, not turn you into…_this_."

"Oh I am so getting you for this!" Izaya asserted. "Maybe I should even take it out on your precious brother!"

"Hey!" she shouted, finally getting seriously angry. "It's not his fault your inner animal is a cat!"

Izaya growled and the tail behind him flicked back and forth expressively. "I will _get_ you! Just tell me how to reverse it!"

Namie glanced at the bottle containing the pills. "It doesn't say."

"Are you fucking—!" Izaya began before cutting himself off. He took a deep breath and put a hand to his forehead. He was determined to keep calm, even in this ridiculous situation. "Fine. Then I'm going to my friend to get this fixed. I'll punish you later."

He stomped out of the room after grabbing his huge fur-trimmed coat. He was out the door and didn't hear her mutter, "Totally a turn off."

* * *

_OMG! I can't believe I wrote this. I don't even read fanfictions like this! Damn I feel horrible. But this isn't a one-shot, there's more yaoi goodness to come (sigh). I love Shizaya too much for my own good sometimes. Hope you all enjoy!_


	2. Chapter 2

"You do it!" Walker insisted, giving the food back to Erika. You're the one who wanted to see him, so _you_ do it!"

Erika pushed it back at him saying, "No! Shizu-chan doesn't like me enough to trust any food I give him!"

"And he trusts me?!"

"Come on! Don't you want to see what he'll do?"

"NO!"

"Yes you do! Come on, it'll be fun! Think of Izaya's reaction!"

"I'm more afraid of _his_ reaction!"

"Are you a member of the Dollars or not?"

"What are you two fighting about?" Kadota asked, finally noticing their hushed fight by the corner of an alley.

Erika brightened up and said, "Dotachin can do it!"

"I told you not to call me that," Kadota said, ignoring the part where she said she wanted him to do something.

"Come on!" she insisted. "It's not that hard. All you have to do is give Shizu-chan a cookie we give you!"

"Why?" Kadota asked, always suspicious of everything the pair did.

"Just because," Erika answered vaguely. "Come on, please? I'll stop calling you Dotachin!"

That was enough for him. He took the cookie from her and asked, "All I have to do is give it to him?"

Erika and Walker nodded, trying to suppress their grins.

* * *

_I think that Erika and I would be good friends. I think we'd get on each other's nerves on occasion, but she's just so like me. I'm actually surprised I don't write more of her really. She is the source for all Shizaya/Izuo goodness! I wish I owned Durarara! so I could make our yaoi actually canon (will still argue that it is)._


	3. Chapter 3

"Please fix this as soon as possible," Izaya asked kindly, hiding the pure rage he still felt at Namie. "I have a meeting with a client in a few hours, and I'd like to meet him in person."

"I don't think that's going to happen, Izaya," Shinra told him honestly. "I don't have any idea what you took, and can't understand what could have done this. Did your secretary tell you where she got whatever it was?"

Izaya shook his head and let an evil look appear on his face. "No, but I will find out who and will personally destroy their company until it is unrecognizable."

There was a knock on the door, but Celty went to get it. She was having a hard time not dealing with Izaya, thankful that she couldn't laugh out loud or have facial expressions that would betray her. Izaya glowered in silence, plotting his investigation and revenge. Shinra was trying to figure out how to fix Izaya, but all he could think of is telling him to hide the ears and tail somehow.

Suddenly Celty came running back, an arm wrapped around her stomach that made it clear she was either laughing or trying not to laugh. She typed something quick to Shinra and then left in a hurry.

Shinra chuckled nervously as Shizuo entered the room, turning to watch Celty leave. He scowled and turned to Shinra to ask him to help him with something, and then his eyes met Izaya's and they both burst into laughter.

"You look ridiculous flea!" Shizuo barked, almost falling over from laughing.

"Look in a mirror!" Izaya hooted. "Oh my gosh, Shizu-chan! How did she get you too?"

"I never thought that if you two were both in the same room your first reactions would be to laugh," Shinra admitted, a little surprised that he didn't have to call Celty back to separate them.

Shizuo recovered from his fit shortly before the informant and he asked, "What do you mean 'she'? I just went out for lunch with a friend and this happened."

Izaya let out a last chuckle and said, "My treacherous secretary thought she'd play a prank on me."

Shinra clapped his hands and said, "Well we don't know how either of your poisoners got this drug, and we don't know how it works or where it came from. Would you two kindly allow me to experiment a little to see how much this has affected you two?"

Shizuo sighed and plopped down onto the couch. "Might as well if you can't fix us without it," he said resignedly.

Izaya rolled his eyes but didn't answer.

"Ok!" Shinra cheered. "Then I'll just tell Celty to get a few things for me, and we'll start in an hour or so."

He ran into the other room, and when he was gone Shizuo observed all of Izaya. The flea saw his look and purred, "Like what you see?"

Shizuo swore quietly and purposefully moved his gaze to the ceiling. It was going to be a long wait.

* * *

_I didn't really intend to make the chapters short, but I thought it seemed best. Don't worry, they're not all short like the first two._


	4. Chapter 4

"Ok so that was boring," Shinra sighed. He had tried tempting Izaya with catnip but the informant had just stuck out his tongue, not caring at all.

Celty typed "I was expecting a cuter reaction" and Shinra laughed.

"Let's move to the next test," the doctor said, pulling out a weird whistle and blowing into it.

Shizuo cried out, clutching at his ears. It wasn't working and he realized he had to cover his dog ears to make the sound to away. He grabbed a blanket and crammed it over his head, sighing in relief as the insane sound was muted.

"That's more like it," Shinra whispered to Celty.

"We can hear you," Izaya grumbled.

Shinra nodded. "Well you see I was wondering if your second pairs of ears worked or were just for show. Also if they would only work on a human's register or a dog's. So now I want to see if…"

He trailed off, glancing at something to his left. Izaya glanced that way, only to turn his back slightly to Celty who had snuck up to his right. She grabbed his tail and squeezed it.

Izaya screamed and hissed, jumping away from the dullahan and bumping his back into Shizuo. "Fuck you!" Izaya spat, clutching his tail protectively as Shinra laughed.

"Fucking evil doctor," Shizuo grumbled.

"Sorry but I have to find out to what extent these additions are a part of you," Shinra justified. "I can't explain it to you first or the reactions won't be the same."

"Go back to offering bones and squeaky toys," Izaya grumbled, his tail whipping around angrily.

"Or catnip," Shizuo fought, trying to keep the focus on the cat-man.

They glared at each other, both loathing the other. They couldn't see it, but Shinra and Celty were still surprised that the two were still in the same room and hadn't broken out into a fight yet. Celty had a bucket of water ready for if Izaya made the first move, and Shinra held the whistle ready for Shizuo.

"Ne~ Shizu-chan looks like a cute mutt," Izaya teased. "You look like something I just picked up from the pound."

"Says the feline with fleas," Shizuo fought back.

"I do _not_ have fleas! I shower every day, which is something you probably can't say, Shizu-chan."

"Oh you did _not_ just call me dirty! A feline who licks himself?"

"I clean myself normally, thank you."

"For a cat, yeah. I take nice short baths!"

Shinra and Celty glanced at each other. "This is a weird fight," Celty typed. "Think we should break it up?"

Shinra glanced at the squabbling rivals and whispered, "No, let's see what this will turn into."

Shizuo barked out a laugh at something Izaya said and the informant couldn't suppress the shudder that went through his body at the sound. Shizuo noticed and barked out loudly, "What! Can't handle a little noise?"

Izaya rolled his eyes and looked away, his poker face in place but his tail's flicking betraying his agitation.

"Or maybe," Shizuo suggested quietly, leaning closer to take the informant by surprise, "you just can't handle the sound of a dog's BARK!" He barked the last word, making the informant jump out of his seat and to his feet.

"Yeah right!" Izaya growled. "As if anyone could be afraid of you, you're like a puppy! More like your disgusting dog breath made me jump. Pee-eew!" He pinched his nose for effect.

"My breath doesn't smell!" Shizuo barked, getting to his feet. "Just admit it, cat!"

Izaya couldn't help it. He hissed at the blonde and then turned tail and ran for the exit.

Shizuo let it sink in, and then took off after the fleeing figure.

Shinra and Celty stood there. "Should we go and stop them?" Celty typed.

Shinra paused before breaking out into raucous laughter. "Oh my gosh, this is _gold_! I wish I had gotten that on camera!"

* * *

_Please forgive me. I really hate including characters beside Shizuo, Izaya and Erika because I am afraid of making them too OOC, and even then I'm still rather paranoid about it. I hope Shinra and Celty aren't bad, I just picture them as people who would laugh hysterically at this but then try and not laugh at their friends in front of them._

_Also if this seems random, it really is. I hate half-human fanfictions, which again makes me question why I wrote this, and couldn't really think of any really tests so I did this. Yeah it gets better I swear._


	5. Chapter 5

_Warning: mature yaoi scene ahead. Really if you weren't expecting this you probably shouldn't have read to this point, but I figured it was best to include a warning. So, BEWARE! (insert Box-Ghost quote here)._

* * *

The cat and dog continued their chase down the street, going too fast for people to notice the ears and tails. They even passed by Kadota and his gang, but they didn't spot the new additions. What they did notice was the lack of projectiles flying, and that the bodyguard seemed more intent on capturing his prey rather than kill him.

As it was, Izaya barely noticed. He was too preoccupied thinking about how ridiculous it was that the cat thing really seemed to fit him. He was used to landing well off of high jumps with his expertise in parkour, but as a cat it seemed natural and effortless. He was also slightly more agile and nimble than before, but he would have still preferred to be back to normal despite the new improvements.

Shizuo was noticing the same thing about himself. He wasn't throwing things at his prey like normal, but felt like he could chase the cat all day if he had to and not get tired. He correctly credited this increase in stamina to new dog side of him, but still wanted his body back to normal. He was noticing too many sounds and smells for his taste.

Izaya jumped onto a chain-link fence, quickly scaling it and was about to jump from the top over to the other side when something grabbed his tail and pulled him down. He hissed in pain as he fell to the ground, landing on his feet like a true cat.

"Caught you," Shizuo smirked, not even out of breath.

Izaya tried to dart around him, but Shizuo grabbed one of his arms and pinned him against the alley wall.

"Fine you caught me," Izaya admitted. "Now what? It's not like you were trying to kill me."

Those words echoed through Shizuo's mind and he realized that he _hadn't_ been trying to kill the annoying cat for once. He thought that maybe he had just chased him out of instinct, a dog naturally chasing something that runs, and decided to let the cat go before he noticed a strange scent and paused.

"Are you going to let me go or not?" Izaya growled, tapping a foot and flicking his tail back and forth. Both arms were pinned, or else he would have gotten out of the situation with his claws. Izaya shook his head sharply: not claws, his knife.

Shizuo moved his head around, trying to find the source of the scent, only to discover that it was coming from the man in front of him. He sniffed closer, leaning down to sniff as close to the source as possible. Something about the scent was overwhelming, and he just couldn't identify what it smelled like to entrance him so much.

"Hey!" Izaya complained, trying to break out of the bodyguard's grip. "Stop sniffing me! It's weird! Hey, are you even listening to me?!"

Shizuo wasn't. Instead he was still focusing on the scent. He was trying to find a way to surround himself in that scent. Then a thought crossed him. What did it taste like?"

"HEY!" Izaya gasped, jerking his head away from where Shizuo had licked his neck. He tried to move away from the tall blonde, but he couldn't break free from the stronger man's grip. He flinched when he was licked again. "Get off me!"

Shizuo ignored him again. The taste wasn't bad, and he wanted more of the scent. He yanked away the informant's giant jacket and tossed it to the ground.

"Hey!" Izaya complained, finally distracted. "That needs to be dry-cleaned!"

Taking advantage of his distracted state, Shizuo yanked the flea's arms up with one hand and used the other to pull of the cat's shirt. Pinning him against the wall once again, Shizuo inhaled the wonderful scent.

Izaya shivered as his back was forced against the cold bricks. It may have been summer, but it was too late for the bricks to be warm from the morning's sun. He wanted his jacket, and struggled against the dog's grip to try and reach it with his foot.

Shizuo moved his nose down the smaller man's body, looking for the strongest source of the smell. His nose found its way to Izaya's underarms and he took a deep breath of the intoxicating scent. He licked the spot, loving the scent too much to snap himself out of his trance.

"Ew Shizu-chan! That's disgusting!" the informant complained, trying to free his wrists from the man's one-handed power grip. His efforts were useless so he tried to just shift his body away from the hypnotized monster.

Shizuo licked the spot again before wondering what the rest of Izaya's body tasted like. He ran his tongue along the cat's body, pausing to lick Izaya's nipples. The smaller man gasped and tried to wiggle away.

Continuing on his way, Shizuo was forced to lower his grip on Izaya's wrists to reach lower parts. Izaya was just thinking of putting together one strong resistance yank before Shizuo found another great source of his new favorite scent.

"NO! Shizuo!" Izaya gasped, using the bodyguard's real name in his shock.

The blonde dog ignored him, pulling down Izaya's jeans with his teeth and nuzzling his nose into his new scent source.

Izaya flinched, trying to get Shizuo's face away from his crotch. "Stop this game already Shizuo!" he pleaded. "Come on now. Haha! That's really funny. You really had me going. Now please stop—!"

He ended in a gasp as Shizuo licked the small bulge in Izaya's underwear. He licked a few more times and the bulge grew. Letting go of Izaya's hands completely, he used his hands to pull down Izaya's pants and underwear together exposing the informant's newly erect member.

Izaya tried to dart away as soon as his hands were free, but the dog grabbed his hips and pulled him to the ground. Izaya had managed to kick his jacket over towards them, so instead of landing on the disgusting concrete his bare ass landed on Izaya's relatively clean jacket.

"Stop this Shizuo!" Izaya gasped, using his hands to try and shove the blonde head away from him.

Shizuo ignored him yet again. He was getting annoyed with the cat's mewling but he knew a way to force him to be quiet. He licked the erect member in front of him and the cat went quiet for a few seconds, and then shoved on his head harder! Shizuo growled and stuck the head in his mouth, determined now to make the idiot shut up.

That did the trick. Izaya's complaints were replaced with moans and gasps as Shizuo slipped more of the organ into his mouth. He bobbed his head back and forth, going between deep-throating the cat and barely keeping the head in.

"Ah….ah!" Izaya gasped. "Shi…Shizuo! I'm…ah! I'm cumming!"

Shizuo hoped that would be the last thing he said, keeping up the work he was doing. When the smaller man came in his mouth, he swallowed it all. A dribble ran down the side of his mouth, but he licked it up after pulling away from the cat.

Izaya was breathing heavily, looking like a kitten who had tired himself out playing too long. Shizuo was struck with how cute he looked and wanted more of him. He moved a finger to the cat's entrance and slipped it inside.

Izaya snapped back to attention with a gasp. He tried to shove the dog away from him, not wanting any of this to continue. "Stop it!" he cried.

Shizuo shut him up with a kiss, adding another finger as he did. Izaya's mouth was still open from complaining and Shizuo's tongue slipped right into his mouth without a fight.

Izaya continued to try and force the bigger man away, and Shizuo continued having his fingers prepping Izaya's entrance. After three fingers had worked it enough, Shizuo pulled them out and broke off the kiss.

Izaya glared at Shizuo, knowing that the stubborn dog wouldn't give up at this point. He prepared himself for the worst as he saw Shizuo slide down his pants to reveal his giant, erect organ. His eyes widened and he grabbed Shizuo's shoulders for support as the bodyguard situated himself at his entrance.

Shizuo thrust in quickly, too impatient to make it slow. Izaya screamed in pain as Shizuo paused to feel how tight it was inside the smaller man. After a short time he began to move, thrusting deeper into the cat.

"Ah!" Izaya gasped. "Don't! Shizu…OH!"

His nails dig into the dog's shoulders as he felt a shot of ecstasy go through his body. Shizuo thrust into the same spot and another shot went through his system.

"Ah! Shizuo! There! Hit there again!"

Shizuo smirked that finally the informant acknowledged wanting it. He did as he was told, aiming for that spot each time he buried himself in the informant. Izaya gasped and moaned, the only words coming out of his mouth begging for more.

Izaya began jerking himself, trying to release the building knot in his stomach. Shizuo kissed him, not allowing him to let out any more erotic noises. They were getting loud, and Shizuo didn't want to share his cat with anyone.

Shizuo came first, filling Izaya's insides with his warm fluid. He pulled out and sat on the ground. He leaned forward and nibbled his partner's cheek, sending him over the edge and spilling his seed all over his chest.

As Izaya tried to regain his breath and composure, Shizuo zipped himself back up and located Izaya's abandoned shirt. He used it to wipe off Izaya's chest, tossing it aside again after finishing.

"You're paying for my dry-cleaning bill!" Izaya huffed, his tail flicking in agitation again.

Shizuo smirked and grabbed the smaller man's face with his hand. He pulled his rival into a kiss, not caring what this night meant.

* * *

_AH! Please tell me how I do writing scenes like these! I'm more confident with my yaoi scenes than my yuri scenes, and I want to know if I just suck before submitting more ShizukaXKanra or any SaekoXSaya (HOTD) scenes. Please help me!_


	6. Chapter 6

"How did you two return to normal?!" Shinra gasped, looking completely disappointed.

The two rivals showed up on his doorstep the next day completely normal again, after having gone home to get changes of clothes first. They hadn't spoken about what had happened, and it was their unspoken agreement not to mention it to anyone, even Shinra.

"Well Namie said it was supposed to be an aphrodisiac," Izaya suggested. "It probably just worked its way through our systems."

Shinra pouted as Celty typed. "That's good then."

"Does she have any more pills?" Shinra asked hopefully.

"I threw all of them into the garbage disposal," Izaya gloated.

"What about whoever drugged you, Shizuo?" the doctor pleaded.

Shizuo shrugged. "I told you I don't know who did it. I was just having lunch with friends, and they wouldn't have drugged me."

"And who in their right mind drugs the monster of Ikebukuro?" Izaya laughed.

Shinra pouted, slumping into a chair as he moped about a missed opportunity.

"I've got to go meet Tom then," Shizuo said, turning to leave.

"And I have that client I was forced to reschedule with!" Izaya added.

Celty watched the two of them leave. They seemed more civil than normal, and she was wondering what effects the pills really had on them. She heard a bang, crash, and then "IZAAAAAAAYAAAAAA!"

Smiling, she knew that life would go back to normal in Ikebukuro like it always did. She turned to comfort her boyfriend who was still whining about his missed opportunity.

* * *

"That wasn't any fun!" Erika complained. "They didn't even go running around with kitty ears!"

"I can't believe someone made such a stupid pill," Kadota complained, his hand over his face. He was hoping that Shizuo didn't connect mutating to having lunch with him. He would have to leave Ikebukuro if Shizuo was after him.

"We can always try again," Walter suggested.

"OOOH! YES!" Erika cheered.

"You two are insane," Kadota sighed, climbing back into the van and joining Saburo in the silence.

* * *

_Author: Thank you for reading! I really appreciate it!_

_Izaya: Why do you people read this? (blushing)_

_Author: Because we love you Izaya! Thank the kind people for reading._

_Izaya: (looks away)_

_Author: Thank you again! I love you all so much!_


End file.
